Discover Your Love Gap

Almost every day, life delivers some measure of discomfort or pain. We feel scared in our jobs. We get hurt in our relationships. We lose a desired opportunity. We become depressed because life is not turning out how we hoped it would. Whatever it may be, it is clear that the world will never be able to give us the security we long for, and this is especially true when it comes to human love. The level of love exchanged from one small self to another inevitably changes or falls short of what we need, and we suffer. To depend completely on personal love sets us up for disappointment and an ongoing experience of insecurity.

The only truly safe haven in life is an inward connection to Absolute love, the attractive energy of the Universe that draws us into harmony. To get this, we need to use each challenge of human relationship as an opportunity to create a deeper connection to the Source of love.

The Love Gap

All interpersonal relationships are actually the great Self (Divine love) dealing with itself. So how we choose to relate to each other is a reflection of how we relate to Source. Equally true if said in reverse, how we relate to the energy of love determines how secure we will feel in all our human relationships. Like the quote at the beginning states, we must grow love within our hearts that is greater than any pain. If we do this, conflict and loss will no longer threaten our self-image or sense of security.

Even if someone treats us in a less than kind way -projecting fear, blame, or hatred in our direction -we can put our energy into the development of stronger love within ourselves. We can use all experiences as stepping stones on our journey of remembering that our highest nature is love itself.

The overarching themes and patterns we experience in relationship with others will show us where we are stuck in our relationship with Divine love. This is a profound realization that can lift us from limitation and frustration to freedom in a very short period of time.

It takes courage and strength, to admit our own shortcomings, and to discern where we limit love. But if we can summarize in a few words what we are struggling with in human relationship, we can see where the love gap is in our heart. Our human relationships reflect our attitude toward Divine love, and our attitudes about Divine love condition our human relationships. The following list offers examples of beliefs we may hold in human relationship that parallel how we may struggle to relate to Source.

• I do not fully trust
• I do not believe my needs will be met
• I do not feel worthy
• I do not really expect response
• I am waiting for material proof in order to believe
• I fear being judged and worry that if I am totally
  myself
• I will not be loved
• I do not feel safe
• I do not believe you care about my suffering

Did you connect with one or more of the above? Consider how you currently experience difficulty in relationship or have in the past. For example, if you are not totally trusting of people, you may have a trust issue with love itself. If you are not completely devoted or people are not devoted to you, you may need to increase devotion to your spiritual practice of loving. If you find that people do not want to spend much time with you, notice how much time you spend with your divine Self. Are you constantly frustrated or dissatisfied with the love of others? Maybe you need to increase your own efforts in practicing love. If you do not feel appreciated, maybe you are not appreciating the blessings of love in your life enough.

When we feel held back in some way from a full relationship with love, we suffer in our own minds and hearts, as well as in our relationships. If we want to improve our human love connections, we can start by deepening our bond with Source love. How will you treat love? How do you want it to respond to you? By using our human relationships as the practice ground, we can develop a deeper and more unconditional connection to Absolute love.

Bridging Your Love Gap

Consider again these attitudes that might be hindering your full availability to love. When you find the one that is keeping your heart closed, replace it with the affirmation “I am Love. ” See how different this feels.

• I do not fully trust love (I am Love!)
• I do not think my needs will be met in love (I am Love!)
• I do not feel worthy of love (I am Love!)
• I do not really expect to be loved (I am Love!)
• I am waiting for material proof in order to believe in love (I am Love!)
• I do not feel safe in love (I am Love!)
• I fear being judged, and worry that if I am totally myself, I will not be loved (I am Love!)
• I do not believe love cares about my suffering (I am Love!)

Keep up this practice and over time, insecurity will transform into a fearless inner security in love.

Excerpt from Breathing Love: Meditation in Action by Jennie Lee © 2018. Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide.