How Yoga Chose Me
Just an everyday overachieving, hypervigilent, perfectionist, striving for success, kinda girl. Two educations and two careers. Interior Design and NASM Personal Trainer.
You say, “I’m successful and a great mom,” even though my mind and body scream otherwise without your knowing.
No biggy. That’s what we all do, right?!
Then my world came to a screeching halt when I was diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive stage 3 triple negative breast cancer. Say WHAT?! This girl eats salads everyday, bans fast food, and won’t touch a soda! WHY!?
My journey through this mess quickly began with conventional treatment such as port placement, double mastectomy and onward to chemotherapy (but not without a fierce fight to run from chemo treatment for 6 months)…After my second round of the chemotherapy (that the cancer wasn’t even receptive to), I quickly became very discouraged, depleted in spirit, and progressively closer to death. Something had to change!
It was time to evaluate why my life was not working in my favor, much less my treatment plan. I made a promise to myself that I would come out on the other side of this cancer better and healthier than I was before. I refused to let myself or my loved ones down with this promise.
Massive research, self discovery, and purging ensued.
Little did I know that I was birthing a personal healing protocol that not only would rid me of my cancer, but every affliction I had ever been diagnosed with. Gone!
“What did you do”, you ask? Well, A LOT! But, one major game-changer was my yoga practice. That “Yoga ” that I reluctantly “bought into” in 2006 when heart surgery was on my agenda and intense workouts were nixed, per doctors orders. However, after beginning my practice 12 years ago, I thought it was frivolous that I ever doubted it’s benefits. But, did I really get it?
So, when a girl that now had limited range of motion from being cut open like a deer, that struggled to breathe correctly from punctured and fluid filled lungs, had new “body parts” and a traumatized mind, showed up on the mat in such broken vulnerability and determination for healing and answers-
…a new student, lessons and epiphanies arrived.
This time around, “I just did THAT,” became a post-practice response, with disciplined urges to journal my euphoric awareness and stature, after EVERY practice! What the heck is going on with this yoga stuff? Something profound was truly shifting in my body, in my mind. I overcame my inability to breathe correctly, my inability to even lie on my back, on the floor, without pain. My range of motion came back and so did the peace in my spirit. An incredible balance of mind and body started to become attainable, even routine.
So, I committed myself to the philosophy and teachings of this ancient practice, and little did I (previously) know, that yoga was not just a physical practice to give me a playground for my dance and gymnastic roots in festive pants anymore. It was really about going inside myself, not outside of myself. Myself actually paying attention to my breath and my thoughts with unbiased expectations and then letting my body flow with its ever changing rhythm on the daily. A new dance in life formed! Who knew that peeling back these layers would create a breeding ground for such major healing and space for life-giving qualities to take its place.
This, now, not so everyday girl, has hung up her interior design hat and societal ways so that I may serve you through life’s adversities, as a teacher and facilitator, with this beautiful practice and approach.
See you on the mat!