Soulmate, Life-mate, Twin-flame: What the Heck?

If you’re confused by the mass of new-age relationship possibilities, you are definitely not alone! In my practice as a spiritual intuitive, I find folks increasingly bogged down by what to expect from their pairings. Are we supposed to be looking for the one that understands us on some cosmic level, or just gets our bad jokes? What about that opposing force, the yin to our yang?

So to help you look for love in all the right places, here is the low down on these terms and why they matter.

Soulmates
Okay this is the one that most folks think they already know. It’s the zappy first look across a crowded room, the date where you could have talked for seven more hours, or that complete sense of comfort with someone that you haven’t felt in, well, ever. Once you’ve found that person you’re paired for life. Right? Not so fast.

While soulmates certainly can provide that sense of connection we all seek, there is no guarantee that this person is the one you are supposed to be with forever, or even that romance is in the cards. Soulmates come in all relationship varieties and can sometimes be a better best friend or work partner than lover. The dizziness we feel over finding this awesome connection can lead us to confuse one for the other and sometimes leap before we take a good look.

So the next time you are thunderstruck by how much that person “gets you ” consider these other options.

Life-mates
These are the folks who seem to “do ” life well together. You know that couple who makes everything look way too easy. They smoothly support each other in this complex world and in so doing find a beautiful, day-to-day rhythm. Life-mates can be loving and efficient at the same time and can even have light-the-bed-on-fire sex! So what could be missing?

Satisfying as they are in being partners in the game of living, life-mates are not always spiritual companions. If you are working toward spiritual development, you will still feel drawn to have a soulmate by your side. But consider that your soulmate might simply be your best friend, leaving room for a smooth life-mate pairing.

On the off chance you’re life-mate is also your soul-mate, then jump up and down and thank your lucky stars because you just found exactly what most people want! On the other hand, what if you have a profound connection with someone who seems to drive you up the wall? You may just have found your twin-flame.

Twin-flames
As opposed to the myriad of possible soulmates and life-mates, you only have one twin-flame. As you came out of the primordial goo and embodied onto Earth your soul split into two expressions: one Yin (feminine) and the other Yang (masculine). Note that this does NOT mean you are not whole! Think of it as efficiently cloning yourself so that you could get more spiritual work done.

So why the opposing forces?

Twin-flames are meant to help you grow by pushing you on numerous levels. Mission-oriented and driven to evolve, twin-flames can be a major pain in your ass! In comparison, soulmates and life-mates often seem like they get to just Netflix and chill.

But like a great yoga practice, twin flames can stretch us to be our better selves by highlighting our weak spots, those areas we would rather ignore but sorely need attention. The image of ourselves reflected by the twin-flame is one that can be challenging to face but once we do so the lessons are abundant!

The Bottom Line
What most people want in a partner is that profound emotional/spiritual connection; that one that says, “I see you completely, and we’ve got this. ” Twin flames and soulmates each give us that synergy we crave and should seek. Because without it, we expect too much from relationships that will never fully deliver.

So now that you know what’s what you may have an easier time seeing the potential in the person in front of you or at least know why they are being such a royal pain!