by Janey Bowyer | April 3, 2018 2:31 pm
Do you thrive or dive in difficult times? Is your happiness buildt on the foundation that things must happen in a set way to enable you to be complete? If so how is that working out for you? I know when ever I have a fixed mindset about what constitutes a happy life, I’m left feeling frustrated and miserable. In contrast, when I’m in a more trusting mood, I feel at peace.
Life plans remind me of a kaleidoscope. Sometimes those plans work out, other times they don’t. Yep, one moment everything looks picture perfect, then fate – karma, whatever you want to call it comes knocking, swirling things around. Chaos can set in, leaving us to adapt and shape life in a completely different way to that of which we imagined.
Last week my partner lost his father. His dad had been ill for a while, but this time he didn’t pull through. The grief is still raw, and yet despite the sadness, I can see as a family we are closer and have been reminded of what is essential in life. The frailty of our existence has inspired me to become a better person. Dreams and goals are great, but the little things in life like calling a loved one or making the time to listen mean more to me these days.
Those who know me say that I have a natural ability to always see the positive in difficult times. Humbly I agree. I tend to become anxious when things are difficult yet even when problems have come crashing down around me I’ve always been able to pick myself up, dust myself off and embrace life with a renewed sense of being.
I believe that we can all learn to see the gifts in difficult times and that we can each learn to make the most out of life. We may not always like what is happening in our lives, yet even when things seem bleak, it is still possible to find the hidden lesson deep within it all. Here is how…
1.Find the blessing.
Not sure you can find the blessing in a situation? When ever I feel like this I look to the past.
Method: Set a side some time, grab a notepad and paper. Write down a few situations from your past when things went wrong. As you do this take some deep breaths.
Next, take a look at your list and for each situation think of at least two positive things to come from each challenge. So for example perhaps you moved schools and lost your friends but then made new ones. Or you lost your job but then later on a better job came your way. Or maybe a partner dumped you, but later on, you realised this was for the best.
Don’t worry if the blessings aren’t always obvious, that’s okay too. Just take your time, the answers will come.
A word of caution: burying, hiding and trying to numb our feelings are not the aim. Processing how we feel is a healthier approach.
2. View the cup as half full rather than half empty.
From the moment you awake view each day as a miracle no matter what the day brings. There will be difficult times, fun times, and times of boredom, but one thing I do believe is that ultimately life wants you to succeed and be happy. It’s all about having the right attitude! Stop focusing on what you don’t have. Replace thoughts of lack with thoughts of life cutting you some slack. Be grateful for what you have and at the same time keen to improve on yourself.
3. Live each day as if it was your first and last day on the planet.
Life can be fast, but if we rush too much, we miss out on conscious living. In contrast, if we do nothing, life can feel empty. By taking the time to connect with the magic of life miracles become more apparent. Each day is unique and we are not born knowing how many of those days we have to live, therefore isn’t it best to make the most out of every single one?
So when difficult times knock you off your feet try the above. Above anything be patient with yourself and life. Silver linings are gifts if only we would take the time to open ourselves up to the possibility that beyond any pain and suffering, life ultimately is about feeling and experiencing love.
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