The Seven People You Don’t Want to Meet in a Yoga Class (Humor)
The majority of yogis are kind, considerate, grateful, and gentle people. However, there are some who are insensitive, inconsiderate and can actually be infuriating. Here are the seven people you don’t want to meet in a yoga class:
1. The tardy one. Though the class starts at 7pm this person aways walks in at 7:05. If a workshop begins at 3 pm, this one walks in around 3:07. Of course, anyone can get caught in traffic and run late. However, the tardy ones are always late. These yogis are in a different time zone and never arrive on time preferring to bring attention to themselves and to disrupt the class during opening meditation and pranayama.
2. The early one. If the class schedule says 7 pm they arrive 30 to 45 minutes in advance. Some of these people don’t like to go home after work so they just arrive really early for a class. Worse yet, they want to bombast the teacher on and on complaining about their many life issues and problems. This person doesn’t understand that a yoga instructor is not a free psychologist.
3. The careless one. Rather mindfully put down their yoga strap, they drop it onto the floor. Or, rather than bend down and mindfully remove a block from their mat, they kick it tumbling out of the way.
Perhaps it was this type of person who was in the mind of the ancient Yogic author of the Tattva Artha Sutra who said yogis should take “care in lifting and laying down things.”
4. The heavy breathing one. We all know about Ujayi breathing calms mind and body but magnifying yourself into a loud Darth Vader so that the whole class can hear you is out of line. Its also obnoxious and distracting.
5. The helping one. Sometimes we all need a second set of eyes to remind us of a safe way to hold a pose but that should come from a qualified, properly trained yoga teacher. It must never come from “Yogi Know It All”, someone you’ve never seen before but who has lots of advice on how to do a pose.
6. The technological one. No yoga teacher should have to say, “put away your cell phones and turn them on silent.” Yet, there will always be a techie in yoga class who just can’t resist the cell phone. She desperately needs to see who called, who responded on Instagram, who posted on Facebook. Some of these tech addicts have even been seen sending off texts during savasana. Ugh!
7. The demonstrative one. Or, put another way – the show off. This person believes he’s destined for Cirque du Soleil and is eager for everyone to see his most amazing side crow, scorpion, handstand walks and headstand. This one needs to take the ego out of yoga!
Victor M. Parachin, M. Div. is a yoga/meditation teacher in Tulsa, Oklahoma and author of several books including Sit A Bit: Five Minute Meditations For Greater Health, Harmony and Happiness. Find out more at www.dharmaroundup.blogspot.com and www. tulsayogameditationcenter.com